Am I at my lowest?

October 17, '24, 4pm
Two weeks before end of Oct

 I hate writing about unpleasant events, bad thoughts, and negative emotions. 
Based from experience, doing so just kind of immortalizes the sad moments. 
Whenever I read what I wrote after some time, it almost always come out as stupid, shallow, and even funny. Seems embarrassing most of the time and unfortunately, it can make you feel bad all over again.

So I am a bit torn writing this. 

Yet because I am so bored tonight, I may just as well finish this post.

Anyway, I am not feeling so well lately. It's painful to admit but it's true.

For one, I lost a great job.

Then I found out my health is not as good as I want it to be.

Trying my best to rest and recover.

Then I am missing someone. 

Then a lot of other small things.

It seems like I am on the brink of depression.

There are days when I don't feel like doing anything.

There are moments when I feel numb, bored, helpless.

Is this my lowest low?

I am not sure, but amidst all the negativity, I am still hopeful.

In spite of it all, I can never let the darkness win.

I am struggling but I have hope.