How To Deal When You Are Terribly Missing Someone

"Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream."
–Euripides

Did you know that there was actually a time when all you care about is the present moment and no one else occupies your mind than the person or the object right in front of you? Well, this was when you were just a few months old; a tiny baby that are yet to develop “object permanence.” 

 

What is object permanence?

According to psychologists, this condition that babies start to develop around 4 to 7 months of age is the ability to understand that objects exist even when not present. Just maybe, life would have been less painful and complicated if we don’t have to wonder about things and people that are out of our vision.

But then...

But alas, as what the Little Prince said, we all have to grow up. And so at some point, almost everyone has to go through the journey of missing someone. To long for someone they cannot be with and to yearn for moments you can never go back to. It may be one of the most terrible things you have to experience in this world but then it doesn’t mean that you have to succumb to the pain. Besides the fact that you are missing someone can be a cause of joy. This is because it means you have the capacity to give love and receive. It is a sign that you are not apathetic or uncaring. And that you have the strength to deal with your agony with peace and grace.  Take note of the suggestions below:

Give yourself time.

To admit to everyone and to yourself that you are terribly missing someone is already a huge feat. Congratulate yourself because it is especially excruciating to face this truth if you know there is no way to bring someone back. So even if you are desperately trying to move on, accept the fact that it is something you cannot rush. Allow yourself as much time as you need to cry or grieve if you need to.

Spill it out.

Yes, spill it all out! Talk to someone or write it down. The last thing you want to do is bottle all these emotions inside. To keep on suppressing the feeling that you are longing for someone is likely to make you feel worse. The more you deny, the more you will keep missing someone. So for your own good, be true to yourself and face your emotions. You can start by talking about it with people you trust.

Get busy.
It is doubly hard to keep your mind off something if you are idle. So you will tremendously help yourself cope with the loss by staying as busy as a bee. You can immerse yourself in your work, start a new hobby, plan a new venture, join a club, etc. With these activities, you can prevent your mind from drifting into the person you are missing. Also, these are great ways to turn your sorrow into something productive and wonderful.

Find joy and be grateful.

A slight change in perspective can help you turn things around.  Instead of focusing on the hurt, how about thinking of the happy memories you have had with someone. The person you miss so much may not be by your side anymore, but at least you were given an opportunity to be with him or her. Being grateful for that rare privilege may just be the cure you need.

Look beyond.

You cannot undermine the sadness you can feel from losing someone dear. Still, you can lighten the pain by finding joy in what happened. You can do this by trusting that there is a reason for everything. Have faith that the odds are always working in your favor. Who knows? Maybe losing someone is a sign that something wonderful is about to happen.